My own personal Niagra Falls

3:30am – “My god, it’s raining hard outside, glad I don’t have to take people climbing tomorrow!”
4:00am – “It’s still raining! My god, it’s really giving it some, it even sounds like it’s raining in here”
4:01am – Eh?! WTF?! I’m getting WET! It IS raining in here… how? There’s another floor above me. Has the roof gone, what the hell is going on? Is this some surreal dream?”

No, it wasn’t unfortunately, it wasn’t raining either. There was a huge jet of water spouting out of the side of our house though, which in the dark looked like it was coming from between our upper floor’s ceiling and the floor above (which has someone else living in it). Crap, just what do you do at four am when water’s pissing through your bedroom ceiling? Well turning on the light isn’t a smart idea, I think this energy saving bulb is now dead – it certainly made some interesting sounds.

  • Step 1 – capture the water by putting the washing up bowl under it
  • Step 2 – Move mattress
  • Step 3 – Move everything that is getting splashed as a result of the water hitting the bowl
  • Step 4 – Think “Shit, what if the ceiling comes down?”
  • Step 5 – Decide that nothing else can be done and that going to sleep will help. The water will either stop or get worse. While not that nice, water running off a lightbulb can be controlled and isn’t causing much harm.

Eventually half seven arrived after a long morning of lying on the living room floor and I rang my landlord. He came down and went to tell the people upstairs they might have a water feature in their bathroom. Naturally he was told to go away and procreate with himself as cheap housing attracts a certain kind of person who don’t have the best social skills. While the landlord was talking to me again there was a yell out the bathroom window of “Oi! We’re sorted now mate, there’s water all over the floor” (or words to that effect) and the torrent stopped.

Stuck ballcock we think. Their ballcocks had better not be sticky again.

The water was really spouting out the wall though, it was quite impressive, but definitely something that shouldn’t be used as an alarm clock.

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