Here’s a winning idea – put a fried breakfast into a tin! All the benefits of a hearty breakfast, without the effort of having to actually cook anything.
You can almost taste it… beans, sausage, funny round things and 61% of your daily allowance of salt, all mixed up together to provide 450 calories of energy – that’s a lot of energy if you were to burn it all in one go, it’d probably blow the walls off your house.
Anyway, let’s delve inside this tin of wonder to see what’s in there. It’ll be a fun journey, we’ll get to play a fun game of “recognise the food”.
First, let’s just check the tin out to see what it says…
OK, in this tin is more food than some people get to eat in a week. Unfortunately there is also more salt in here than a cup of sea water. Surprisingly low in saturated fat, and a nice pile of sugar to offset the salt.
So what does it look like with the tin opened? Does it bear any resemblance to the image on the tin (really, if you expect it to I bet you’re someone who has never bought food from McDonalds)
Yes, my cooker is really that dirty, yes I probably do need to clean it. If you’re my landlord this is not the pristine new oven you had delivered three months ago.
So what do we have in here then? We need some sort of hint…
OK, so in there are some beans, sausage, button mushrooms, chopped pork, egg nuggets, bacon and cereal. Well I suppose that qualifies as breakfast then. I wonder if there’s a more expensive version that contains a cup of tea as well?
Yum. Words cannot describe how appetising this looks. Words also cannot describe how it tastes… or smells.
Incidentally, I can’t take those pentaprazole tablets for two weeks until after I’ve had a H Pylori test. Maybe eating this will kill off anything living inside me!
I think this is “meat”. It had a vague porky flavour, so could be anything from pig to human child.
This brown, knobbly matter also tasted “meaty” and had a reconstituted-from-pureed-sloppy-protein texture. I think we’ll just move on…
I have no idea… it tasted… eggy. But not fried-eggy, more scotch eggy. Yes, it had the exact same taste and texture as a cheap scotch egg.
So there you have it; 450 calories of sugary, salty gloop in a tin. I think I’ll go and work it off in the garden now.