What dead bird? Me? I wouldn’t know anything about no dead bird. Maybe it just died of natural causes, on the carpet, with half its feathers missing.

What dead bird? Me? I wouldn't know anything about no dead bird. Maybe it just died of natural causes, on the carpet, with half its feathers missing.

What dead bird? Me? I wouldn’t know anything about no dead bird. Maybe it just died of natural causes, on the carpet, with half its feathers missing.

Stupid human isn’t able to tell the difference between a courgette and a cucumber. PS, try that cucumber thing on me and it’ll be the last thing you ever do.

Stupid human isn't able to tell the difference between a courgette and a cucumber.

PS, try that cucumber thing on me and it'll be the last thing you ever do.

Stupid human isn’t able to tell the difference between a courgette and a cucumber.

PS, try that cucumber thing on me and it’ll be the last thing you ever do.

My non-evil housemate has returned. I’ll scare her off in a moment. Later we might go out for a fight in the garden, or race around the house at 4am growling at each other.

My non-evil housemate has returned. I'll scare her off in a moment. Later we might go out for a fight in the garden, or race around the house at 4am growling at each other.

My non-evil housemate has returned. I’ll scare her off in a moment. Later we might go out for a fight in the garden, or race around the house at 4am growling at each other.