Really weird spam comments

Amongst the usual drivel infesting my blog’s spam trap I found this…

Inexpensive Items – If you select floor mats as your next trade show handouts, you can look forward to a less hassle when it comes to your spending budget.

Your target audience will have a hard time taking it home with them if they are too large. Mats that are too tiny may not be that capable at all.

Just what is this going on about?

Engrish legalese word soup

I thought I’d go through my spam folder, Google is so efficient at stripping the spam that I never get to see it. Amongst the mess of V1/gra p1llz and associated rubbish I came across this email. Not only does it read like a badly produced 1980s VCR manual, but it’s full of random legalese words too.

Dear,

I am Attorney Loo Tan Leng (Esq),the managing attorney for Leng & Co Associates (Malaysia).

It is explicable for you to grow apprehensive reading from me since there was no previous exchange between us. However, I implore your attention on the subject matter here contained.

A deceased client of mine, who died in 2002, had left large sum of money in his bank account totaling USD Six Million approximately. Documents of the account are in possession.

Upon maturity legal responsibilities, the bank has requested that I present the beneficiary of the Estate. This reason underscores my contacting you since you share the same family name with the deceased.

I am disposed to present you to the bank as the beneficiary of the Estate after procurement of necessary documentations applicable for inheritance.

Please be assured that there is no ramification (legal or otherwise) in the means of consummating this transaction hence the process and procedure will be conducted in accordance with legal applicable requirements.

Please, revert accordingly to indicate your interest to be part of the aforementioned transaction.

Sincerely

Barrister Loo Tan Leng Esq

Principal/Managing Attorney

So if you’d like to receive this vast sum of cash, or if you’re a patrolling spambot looking for email addresses… lootan_leng@mail.kz

And here is an excellent variation on the traditional Nigerian scam mail

United Parcel Service of America

IN REGARD TO YOUR PACKAGE FROM (UPS) UNITED PARCEL SERVICE OF AMERICA.

YOUR PACKAGE WILL BE RETURNED BACK TO THE FINANCE DEPARTMENT IF THE CHARGE FEE TO ENABLE SHIPMENT IS NOT PAID WHICH IS $100 ONLY.

Note that we were instructed to email you, due to the high priority of your package And everything will be taken good care by me.

I have been awaiting for you to contact me for the delivery of your MASTERCARD WHICH WORTH TWENTY MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLAR ($20,000,000).

I want you to know that your package which worth TWENTY MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLAR ($20,000,000) has been with us for the pass few weeks now and we are waiting for your confirmation of message so that we can deliver the ATM CARD to you.

Due to the distance between your residential address and our office here in Nigeria there are only two ways your MASTERCARD package can get to you and this include all back up document to secure it during shipment.

Below are the TWO OPTION needed for you to get your package.

OPTION ONE: YOU NEED TO TRAVEL TO NIGERIA AND GET THE PACKAGE IN OUR OFFICE
OR
OPTION TWO: THE PACKAGE WILL BE SHIPPED TO YOU THROUGH UPS SECURE SERVICE AND YOU WILL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE SHIPPING CHARGE FEE.

My advice to you now is to choice the shipping option to prevent you for wasting your time and money.

The charge fee required to enable a secure shipment to you is $100 only and this include the security keeping charge fee.

If you preferred the shipping service get back to me and i will send to you the payment details you will need to send the charge fee $100 via western union so shipment can commence once the charge fee is received.

AWAIT YOUR REPLY.

UPS INTERNATIONAL DELIVERY DEPARTMENT
12 DENLOT STREET.
IKEJA,LAGOS
NIGERIA
HEAD MANAGER
MR DANIEL A. MARIO

They really didn’t think that through very well… I can either pay $100 to claim my Mastercard worth $20,000,000. Or I can fly to Nigeria to collect it in person. Hmm… flights to Nigeria are quite expensive, but hey… once I’ve got my Mastercard I can pay it easily.

Whoo, let’s go on holiday!

Port Forwarding and NAT Loopback on a Zyxel ADSL Router

If you’re trying to answer the question “How do I connect to hosts inside my network using my Internet connection’s IP address, and not the local IP address” or maybe “How do I test my port forwarding works from within my network” then you need to enable NAT Loopback on your router or firewall. To see why, keep reading. Otherwise go and Google.

Users of Zyxel routers (P-660HW-T1 v2 etc), you need to connect to the CLI and type in a command. Irritatingly the command is not saved when the power goes out so you will need to re-enter it every time the router is power cycled. Also, with Zyxel routers it will be necessary to enable a LAN / LAN Router firewall rule to explicity forward ‘any’ connection to the local IP address of the Zyxel router. Without doing this all admin (web and Telnet CLI) control of the router is lost.

Telnet into your router and issue the command ip nat loopback on. Here’s an example.

james@smeg:~$ telnet 192.168.1.254
Trying 192.168.1.254…
Connected to 192.168.1.254.
Escape character is ‘^]’.

Password:
Copyright (c) 1994 – 2007 ZyXEL Communications Corp.
P-660HW-T> ip nat loopback on
P-660HW-T> exit
Connection closed by foreign host.

Why? Keep reading…

With an ADSL or other NAT based router/firewall it is possible to use port forwarding and other firewall rules to get from the Internet (WAN) to the local network (LAN). Once configured, hosts on the Internet are able to reach your internal machines by visiting your Internet IP address.

Imagine you have an Internet connection that goes through a firewall. Behind the firewall is a laptop, desktop and a server. On the server is webserver software and the popular Subversion repository software.

Using port forwarding it is possible to allow people on the Internet to access both the web and SVN server, but prevent them from accessing the laptop or the desktop computers. Internally the desktop, laptop and server can all communicate with each other, the firewall having no control over this.

So a user on the desktop PC can browse the webserver by simply connecting to its internal IP address – 192.168.1.100. So can the laptop. The Internet users could connect to this using the port forwarding set up and use the router’s Internet address – http://photos.piku.org.uk. Note how there are two addresses for everything now – the actual internal IP address and the external Internet address provided by port forwarding.

Having two addresses is no problem for most things. It can just become a little confusing or impractical. Imagine the laptop user wants to check out sourcecode from a Subversion repository. They install the excellent TortoiseSVN and, while connected to the internal network, check out source from ‘192.168.0.123’. Suppose now they want to go outside the network and continue with access to the repository. Port forwarding allows them access, but due to the way SVN works they will now need to check out a second copy of the source.

And now things are confusing. It seems impractical and overly complex to need two copies of something just because the address of the computer has changed. This is where NAT Loopback comes in. It allows the laptop user to enter the Internet address of the SVN server into their client and use that from both within the local network and out on the Internet.

GMail thinks I am German…

Weird German GMail error
Weird German GMail error

The error message says

Lieber Nutzer,

in Deutschland heißt unser E-Mail-Service Google Mail, nicht Gmail.

Sie können Ihre E-Mails in Deutschland direkt unter http://mail.google.com abrufen.

Ihr Google-Team

Der E-Mail-Service von Google ist in Deutschland nicht mehr über die von Ihnen eingegebene URL abrufbar.

Allgemeine Informationen zu Google finden Sie in Deutschland wie gewohnt unter www.google.de oder www.google.com.

Which translated using Babelfish comes out as

Dear user, in Germany is called our email service google mail, not Gmail. They can call up your emails in Germany directly under http://mail.google.com. Their googleteam The email service of does not google is in Germany any more over the URL entered by you callably. General information too google find you in Germany as used under www.google.de or www.google.com.
Kind of confused why I’m seeing this given I’m sat in the UK…

Advance April Fool

I get some really bizarre spam…mail

Finance Minister Mr..P. Chidambaram has approved a Bill which comes into effect on 01.04.2009  and it states that all Privately owned companies need to give a minimum salary increase of 15% to all employees every six months.

This comes as a relief to petitioners appealing against the growing work hours in the Privately Owned organizations and which do not have a proper system to check overtime.

The bill also mentions that all employees be provided 20 days casual leave every year.

Please see the attached document for the list of companies which be brought under the umbrella of the Bill in the first round of implementation.

And if the name of your company features in the list, kindly circulate this mail among your colleague.
Pls refer the attached list of companies.

So thank you she28phool2c@yahoo.co.in for the weird email.