A number of years ago I was given the remains of an army ration pack that I could take on a camping trip I was doing at the time. The pack consisted of several freeze-dried items with all the texture and flavour of wall filler. I think I took a look at the stuff, put it in a cardboard box and went to the local shop to buy some better food for the trip.
Fast forward to today when I was looking for something to eat at dinner, and no matter how many times I opened the fridge it failed to be full of nice things to eat. After rooting around my shelving for something edible I found two potential candidates – a tin of Tesco stew, and a green packet of something. Putting the tin back … way back out the way (I’m not that hungry!) I decided to see what the stuff in the green bag was.
Turns out it’s the army ration pack I was given all those years ago, proudly bearing a prepared date of 24th October 2001. An inspection of the packet revealed it was probably intact and unlikely to contain anything it shouldn’t, so I ripped it open and added it to some water. I’d like to tell you the resulting food was nice, edible and just as good as the day it was packed… but I’d be lying.
Imagine if you will thick congealed gravy – the type made by people who can’t make gravy. And sticking out of that bits of slippy pasta, with the whole thing having a curious sheen to it. The smell is not unpleasant, but at the same time not exactly inviting, and the flavour… it was hard to describe, but I think it might have tasted like tomatoes.
Having eaten it all, I can say I am most definitely not hungry any more. For added satisfaction, every time I burp I get to taste it again. I wonder if eating the contents of my hoover would remove the taste.