Stupid human isn’t able to tell the difference between a courgette and a cucumber. PS, try that cucumber thing on me and it’ll be the last thing you ever do.

Stupid human isn't able to tell the difference between a courgette and a cucumber.

PS, try that cucumber thing on me and it'll be the last thing you ever do.

Stupid human isn’t able to tell the difference between a courgette and a cucumber.

PS, try that cucumber thing on me and it’ll be the last thing you ever do.

My non-evil housemate has returned. I’ll scare her off in a moment. Later we might go out for a fight in the garden, or race around the house at 4am growling at each other.

My non-evil housemate has returned. I'll scare her off in a moment. Later we might go out for a fight in the garden, or race around the house at 4am growling at each other.

My non-evil housemate has returned. I’ll scare her off in a moment. Later we might go out for a fight in the garden, or race around the house at 4am growling at each other.

The smaller but noisier food human tried to drown me! So what if I smell funny and have fleas, that’s no reason to try and drown me in the sink. I was out in the rain the other day, isn’t that enough of a “wash”? Wait till you’re asleep… just you wait.

The smaller but noisier food human tried to drown me! So what if I smell funny and have fleas, that's no reason to try and drown me in the sink. I was out in the rain the other day, isn't that enough of a "wash"? Wait till you're asleep... just you wait.

The smaller but noisier food human tried to drown me! So what if I smell funny and have fleas, that’s no reason to try and drown me in the sink. I was out in the rain the other day, isn’t that enough of a “wash”? Wait till you’re asleep… just you wait.